One thing I've realised in life is that when your criticised on a regular basis, it destroys a persons self esteem and how they value themselves.   Why is it then that its far easier to criticise than to praise or say something nice about someone, even if its not to their face. I think its to do with their own insecurities and about how they feel about themselves.  For example, I was reading about how Vanessa Feltz as a child had put on rather a bit of weight and her mother said to her 'youre getting rather podgy'. Although her mother felt that she was trying to help her, actually Vanessa recalled at that point, her self esteem was damaged by the comment and she continued to put on more weight. The hardest thing to do when you want to help someone with something, is to refrain from saying any thing that would in any way make them feel even more inadaquete, The important thing is to accept completely the people you love, with all their faults, because unbelievably this will make them change for the better, when people feel accepted, they grow, they thrive, they feel confident in their abilities. So take the time to praise, not criticize, and that includes to ourselves.